Cough

Lyla has developed a scratchy, barky cough from her smoking habit. Her daycare teacher thinks it's croup, pronounced "croop," which is a disgusting name for a cough. It's almost an onomatopoeia since when Lyla coughs, she goes "Croup, croup, croup!"

She's also teething like a shark. The drool and snot coupled with how she lurch-walks around the house makes me wonder if she'd ever pass a field sobriety test.

Attention businesses: can you please make it easier for part time and hourly employees to stay home when they're sick? This afternoon I averted my facial orifices as Typhoid Mary bagged my groceries. I'm sure a germ or two slipped in through my nostril or eyeball, though, and then I drove directly to pick up Lyla with her drool and croup.

Lyla was cute, though. These two moms who totally have a crush on me (because I am boyishly handsome) were there picking up their babies. They marveled at Lyla's walking skills, which she had apparently been showing off seconds before I arrived. Then Lyla lurched over to me and crouped in my eyeball and nostril, so we left.

Let's hope she sleeps tonight better than last night.