Doctors

This is a classic Dad outfit: boyish, unmatching, and hated by Mom.

Julie took Lyla to urgent care today to investigate our suspicions that Lyla has another ear infection. They got in the "Quick Check" line because it was routine and only involved, hence the name, a quick check.

So after ignoring the glares of the patients wearing masks who had been waiting longer, Julie and Lyla entered the exam room and encountered a medical student by the age of about 26 who fumbled his way through the ear examination. "I, uh, um, I can't, like, you know, like, see anything?" is approximately what he said to justify his six-figure student loans as Lyla whined and squirmed.

Then an older doctor entered, wiped the sweat off the handle of the ear instrument, and demonstrated to the flustered neophyte how to use it properly. The verdict? Call Dr. House: Lyla might have an ear infection. It's a mystery. We can now all but prevent HIV from becoming full-blown AIDS, but we rub our chins with consternation when asked about an infant's red ears.

Julie and Lyla left with no prescription and the dreaded instructions to wait and see. It sort of makes sense: Lyla's old ear prescription ended just a couple days ago, so it's still technically in her system. She doesn't have a fever. And she's teething walrus tusks. But still, "Wait and see" is a bunch of crap. Give us a prescription to fill just in case all the waiting and seeing turns into an ear-tugging, feverish child on Saturday night.

It's funny how parenting can sometimes make you feel totally incompetent, but other times it makes you feel smarter than doctors.