Adult

Yesterday I was driving from Target to Chipotle and a guy nearly sideswiped me off the road. He changed lanes without looking, and the blaring of my horn did not compel him to notice or care that I was right where he intended to go.

I avoided an accident by slamming on my brakes. My Target bag hit the dash and emptied onto the floor. The young driver slid in just ahead of me; his back bumper could've high-fived my front one.

I nearly flipped my shit. My middle fingers were up before I could tell them to cool it, and I screamed obscenities as though the sound might penetrate my windshield and his. When his middle finger went up too, for a moment I wished upon him with all my heart a painful, horrifying death.

So here's my rudimentary understanding of the human brain. Teenage brains tend to process emotional stimuli in the amygdala, which makes them react impulsively. In adults, emotional stimuli get processed in the frontal cortex, a part of the brain that's more rational and slow to react.

Clearly my amygdala takes over in tense driving situations. I think that's true for a lot of America. In reality I don't wish the young man any ills at all, except for maybe a low sperm count. But those awful thoughts in the heat of the moment--I need to get that stuff under control. It could've happened with Lyla in the car; would I have reacted the same way? Or worse?

There was no further incident once we each put our fingers away. I didn't pass him or tail him or anything like that. My frontal cortex had shown up by then. Resolution: next time I'll laugh it off. Like an adult.