Bite

People tell us that soon Lyla will discover her feet and begin to suck on them. That's disgusting.

Currently she can almost cram her entire fist in her mouth. When she does, the sucking sound is similar to when you try to suck the last bit of a purple-flavored Mr. Freeze out of the plastic wrap.

If Lyla's fists lactated, then she could self-regulate her food intake. She's in for a world of disappointment when she discovers her feet and gets her hopes up before realizing that they don't produce milk either.

I bit my toenails until around age 6. Actually age 17, which I can tell the truth about now because I'm no longer trying to score dates. I quit biting them for reasons of inflexibility (along with the obvious reasons that somehow eluded me before). I know it's wrong to correct the behavior of a three-month-old, but I'll be tempted when I see her foot in her mouth to say "No" in hopes that she doesn't become a toenail biter/social pariah.

Of course, all of this makes me curious about whether I could still reach my foot to my mouth. I haven't had occasion to test it in the last 12 years, you see. When I try, I'll be sure Lyla's not watching, lest I reinforce the behavior before it even happens in the first place.