Zipper

What do you stand for? What's important to you? I am all about the zippered onesie. My dignity as a man just took a hit by writing that sentence, but I don't care.

The alternative is navigating 137 snaps. And you never get it right; you always have to unsnap half of them and start over so Lyla doesn't end up looking like a crack baby. Meanwhile she's squiggling around, getting fussy, doing her best to thwart your efforts. Contrast this exercise in madness with the ease of the zipper. Make sure her limbs and skin folds are contained, and zzzzip, done.

So why are these things so difficult to find? Are there that many more snap factories than zipper factories? Is there a large faction of snap-happy parents that I am unaware of? I can understand if you had a little boy and felt zipper-neurotic, but I can't think of a reason why the girl onesies aren't exclusively zippered.

"We get them in, and they sell out right away," reported the savvy motivated employee at Carter's, one of Julie's favorite baby stores.

You'd think she was asking about a Wii.