Antithesis

Tomorrow Auntie Lori is coming over to hang out with Lyla while Julie and I go to the movie theater for like the first time in Lyla's entire life. Actually, I remember seeing Marley and Me when Lyla was tiny and slept anywhere. Julie liked it, but Lyla and I thought it was boring.

In fact, now that I think about it, movie theaters suck. You have obnoxious people all around you, low definition picture, and the inability to hit pause and go make a sandwich. Plus, we always eat way too much $10 popcorn with high fructose corn syrup butter product. "Just a little," we tell the guy, which to him means 24 squirts instead of 25.

Thing is, the fact that we can't go to the movie theater anymore with Lyla makes it an oddly alluring date option. And as far as movie selection, it feels like we're wasting the date if we see anything even slightly appropriate for a baby's eyes. Since it's a rare night out away from Lyla, we need to see something that we would never, ever let her see. So Inglourious Basterds, here we come--because what's the absolute antithesis of baby-appropriate subject matter? Brad Pitt scalping Nazis.