Magnet

We're hanging in there. My prediction is whatever this rash is, the doctor will say to keep Lyla home until it goes away. So maybe by next week I'll be teaching live via satellite.

Lyla still seems to be feeling fine, though she was not an all-star napper today. Julie looked a little defeated when I walked in the door, so I offered to take Lyla to the mall and out of her hands. She happily sent me with a list of necessities: a specific black skirt and a belt that you might use to put not around your waist like a normal person, but around your torso in that space between breasts and belly. It pulls your various shirts in, and it's fashionable, I guess. Women are weirdos.


But I share this because I discovered a great way to get a lot of attention from the ladies at the mall--not that you or I would ever want such attention, but just in case, you know? As a guy, take your baby daughter to the mall, and let the sales staff help you buy clothes for your wife. Engage them in conversations about things like belt circumference and patterned tights. You'll be a total babe magnet, and then you can go home and brag to your wife about it as you hand her the sack of clothes you bought for her.


And if you're a guy with no wife or baby, then you might be able to meet the girl of your dreams this way. You'd have to rent a baby, of course, and then have some other excuse to buy women's clothing and start conversations about it. Tricky indeed. Good luck with all that.