Thursday, September 24, 2009

Hissy


If Julie comes home late, stressed out, tired, and hungry all at the same time, and she finds the house a teeny bit messy, then you better watch the hell out. Anything can set her off, and she will become a raving banshee lunatic, a dervish of rage. Picture Bruce Banner with no muscles but with frenetic gestures, a large vocabulary, and the ability to have a conniption without breathing.

I suppose I should mention that at 7:30 while I was out getting us food, she was wrist-deep in a dirty diaper and discovered that we had no wipes remaining. And the highchair was crusty. And the house was a mess. And we were down to our last six diapers. And I still hadn't moved the bug poison from the floor of the front closet. There's probably more, but you can ask her yourself if you're curious. Just be careful. Wear a helmet.

You should also know, though, that I have since fed her a cheeseburger and some cookies, and now she is calmly sipping tea. The diaper and wipe supply has been replenished. The messes...remain, but they're not as bad. She's at the computer watching the YouTube video of the baby dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies." She just giggled. This is promising.

Better bring her more cookies just in case.

No comments: