Bulldozer

Let's all pause for a moment and give thanks that babies don't drive cars. I do think that with leg extenders and about four telephone books, a baby could learn to make it go vroom. Staying on roads, however, is another matter entirely. When traveling from Point A to Point B, babies are like birds: they fly straight.

If Lyla was behind the wheel of, say, my trash-pile Corolla, and she had her mind set on a Dilly Bar, she would see a row of houses blocking the way to Dairy Queen and think, "I'm pretty sure I could drive over those." That's how she crawls, anyway, completely unaware that there's a concept called "around." For some reason, she is only aware of "over" and "through."

For instance, study this photograph:


Eight seconds earlier, Lyla decided she wanted whatever was in that box. So she crawled over the humidifier to get there. It was the most socially awkward thing I've ever seen. When she rides the bus to school for the first time, we'll have to coach her in advance: "Don't climb over all the kids to get to an empty seat, honey. Walk down the aisle."